I just came across this website called My Crazy Roommate and it is GOLDEN.
The guy is clearly not making it up, it’s just too funny to be fake. Even if it is fake, it’s still golden. His name is Matt I believe, and I think he lives LA. Could be Wily though, cause thats the author name on the posts. I don’t know, I’ll call him Matt. He has a roommate who’s name starts with P, so for privacy, Matt calls him P. Since P moved in with Matt in January there have been hundreds of crazy interactions between them and Matt has posted a dozens of them online for our enjoyment.
If you get a chance, take 20 minutes and read them from the start. They are in chronological order and some won’t make sense if you don’t read the first ones. I specifically enjoyed his bike story.
The Bike Incident
Me: What hapanned to you?
P: I fell down the stairs.
Me: We don’t have stairs.
P: I fell down the stair in front.
Me: You look like you were hit by a bus. The “stair” out front is a 3 inch step.
P: I had hot dogs in my hand.
Me: What?
P: I tripped on my shoe and saved the hot dogs.
Me: Who does that?
Now, if this was anyone else in the world, I would’ve called bullsh*t right there. P being P though, “I tripped over my shadow” was believable….
The Next Day….
Person 1:
J: What happaned to you?
P: I crashed M’s bike.
Person 2:
S: What did you do to your hand?
P: I crashed M’s bike.
Brilliant liar this P….About 20 people later…..
P: So, ummmm……There’s something wrong with your bike.
Me: Yeah, I know, it fell down a stair.
P: Yeah, so, thats fine, right?
Me: Nope. You took it without asking, crashed it, then lied about it. You buy it or fix it.
P: It’s not my fault! I didnt’ mean to crash.
Me: You’re retarded. You have a week.
P: Nooo! The important thing is that I’m o.k.
Me: No, it’s not. The important thing is that you owe me money or a fixed bike or your homeless.
P: I’ll fix it, I’ll fix it.
Me: I know, and you’ll buy a lock for it too. I’ve been having problems with people taking it and crashing it.
Not always fun and games when dealing with a crazy person.
Like I said, read them from the start. They just keep getting better from #1 on.